#MythMonday: BDSM Always Requires Sex

Continuing with our weekly myth busting, this week we look at the misconception that BDSM requires sex.

It is not uncommon for folks to think that sex and BDSM (Bondage, Discipline/Dominance, Submission/Sadism, Masochism) would intertwine. Certainly there is a segment of folks who are in the scene, or who identify with these practices, for whom sex and BDSM cannot be unlinked. For a lot of people, however, sex is not just not a requirement, but it’s not even a main focus.

There are many other aspects to BDSM that people find integral to their lives whether it’s from a more erotic perspective, or from a structural perspective. In the sense of erotic exploration, BDSM invites play and discovery, getting into more sensation-based play, role play, bondage and lots more. In a structural sense this can be seen in a couple of ways. One, is with finding community, whether in-person or online, of folks with whom you have similar interests. The second is for those who may lean more toward the side of Dominance and Submission. This will vary depending on the dynamic, but for some folks it is helpful in how to live their day-to-day lives in a practical, more mundane sense.

Regardless of where one might fall on the “yes, always” or “no, never” sides of the spectrum, sex (oral, anal, PiV, etc.) is not a requirement to participate in BDSM. The main elements that should always be incorporated, of course, are Consent, Communication, Caring, and Caution.

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