This week instead of directly busting a myth we are looking to explore the topic of forced masturbation since it is still Masturbation Month.

A popular practice in the BDSM community, forced masturbation involves play in which a Dominant forces* the submissive to masturbate in front of them. The practice can be used as a form of humiliation by requiring the submissive to masturbate in public or perform embarrassing or degrading acts on themselves while being watched. The Dom(mme) is able to inflict further “torture” on the submissive by incorporating additional forced play into the scene. One of the most popular forms of this play includes forced orgasm which falls under this wider umbrella of forced play. Forced orgasms may involve the submissive having an orgasm that occurs either against the will of the submissive or without the Domme’s permission. This can be solo play, or it could be at the hands (or tools) of the Dominant. Orgasm is not necessarily the main goal of a forced masturbation scene. These sorts of scenarios can take both a more rewarding tone and a punishing tone depending on the scene or the dynamic.

Individuals may be drawn to this type of play due to the extreme power dynamics. As a Dominant you have full control over the submissive(s) during forced play. If you are submissive, giving up control during forced play dynamics is alluring. 

*If reading the word “forced” raises some red flags in your mind that’s okay! The words alone can imply a lack of consent. However, it is important to remember that consent is always a priority before engaging in any “forced” masturbation play and all participants do have consent before any play can progress. Gaining verbal consent at the beginning of, and throughout the scene, participants can establish words and phrases that can be said by any participant to stop all play. These words, also known as “safe words,” are decided upon well before activity starts and can be consistently used in play. 

If these activities aren’t your thing, and you prefer other forms of self-pleasuring – or none at all – that’s ok! Just don’t yuck anyone’s yum!


Written in collaboration with our volunteer Rachel Saunders.