I say, sure. Granted, this doesn’t work for everyone, but it definitely works for me.
Let me start with some definitions of some jargon before I go further. These are *my* very general and crude definitions, and although likely accepted by post of the SM and Poly communities, everyone has their own slant.
Dom: The one in charge, calling the shots, directing the activities.
sub: The one doing what the Dom wants.
Top: The one “holding the whip” so to speak. Usually referred to as “the doer.”
Bottom: The one “being done.”
A switch is one who plays both ways — likes to top and bottom, dom and sub, whatever terms work for you. For my lifestyle, top and bottom work best I think.
I like playing both sides, not all the time and not exactly 50-50, but I like having the choice available. With my primary partner, I tend to bottom more often. With my submissive, well… currently I’m the one running the show, but that hasn’t always been the case. And, it doesn’t mean I don’t bottom in that relationship. Getting a message could be seen as bottoming (being done to). Works for me!
What my primary partner and I really enjoy is switching during play. We’ll start out with one of us on top and eventually turn things around so the other is topping. This doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with actual physical sexual positions, BTW!
Switching doesn’t come out of not knowing what I want or how to get what I want, it comes out of wanting a variety of experiences and being willing to examine and explore different roles and ways of doing things in order to fulfill those experiences.
In reality, very few people are ENTIRELY dominant or submissive all the time. Just as very few people are actually ENTIRELY hetero- or homosexual with absolutely no thoughts, fantasies, or interests in the other direction.
As far as I’m concerned, all aspects of sex, gender, and sexuality are maleable and part of larger spectrum of possibilities. Enjoy the rainbow!
I just found the link to your blog and will read regularly. I would love to keep in touch with some of the things you are doing, the topics you are discussing, and hear more about this educator role in your life.
BTW, I always thinks it’s interesting to talk to people who think the Dom(me) must be the one with the power, when in fact, it’s the Sub that has the power. The Sub is the one with the safeword, who can bring the entire thing to a halt. THEY are the one who decides when and if to invoke that word. So, although the Dom(me) is initiating the activities, taking the more aggressive role, the true power in the encounter lies with the Sub. I think that’s FASCINATING psychology.