Kinky in the Digital Age: Gay Men’s Subcultures and Social Identities, an insightful book by Liam Wignall, explores digital media and social networking technology as a tool to better develop social and sexual connections rooted in authentic expression with a special emphasis on pup play.
Physical expression remains a pivotal tool to access this space. The sometimes narcissistic-leaning motivations of social networking technology are set aside and replaced with genuine desires and methods for connection. With this intent, user account profiles become playful opportunities to integrate kink into user identity, both on and offline. The amount of information disclosed, the photos selected, the audience to which the user allows the photos to be seen, and many more profile customizations become key decisions, that usually evolve and fluctuate along with the preferences and intentions of the user.
“Pup gear” and the many available accoutrement offerings in this type of play become resources to build the desired aesthetic. A facial mask, typically made of leather or rubber and linguistically referenced here as a pup hood, and a tail comprise the essentials of this kinky uniform, with options to expand into collars, harnesses, leads, and other offerings. While not mandatory for pup play, the outfit of gear appears to be encouraged in the space to create the associated dynamic. Gear, and perhaps pup play as a whole, is framed as a beginner-friendly way for those new to the kink scene to experiment with sexual alternatives. In experimenting with aspects of leather, rubber, and bondage, it is common to discover interests along the way in a multitude of kink subcultures and practices.
Gear and opportunities for expression are sighted as a means of communication intended to support our felt experience of selfhood. Gear also affords us the ability to representationally offer others an abbreviated lens as to how we both see and perhaps best experience, our truest, most authentic selves. What a beautiful adventure – to try something on. It is through this understanding that the playfulness of pup play resonated with me most. It is also through this understanding that in my own journey of kink, I strive to plant truthful expression, even through its many changing tides, as it behooves transparent conversation in pursuit of meaningful connections.
The voices featured in this book share kaleidoscopic views of social and sexual aspects of pup play, with varying degrees of overlap, and not, with respect to the handlers and pups. Kink need not be inherently sexual, or at least not in its entirety, and the preference to not include sex in kinky play should not preclude one from playing.
Throughout the book, the reader is asked to reflect on what it means to be “kinky”, and the various meanings and associations therein. Approaching kink as a mental and emotional erotic embodiment permits a suggestively meditative space. The spiritual side of pup play as offered through pup headspace is admirable. Through the presence of mind required to mindfully adopt, if only temporarily, a pup persona may bloom into a level of concentration and flow so consistent that it offers fruits of meditative presence and spontaneous meditation. Viewed in this light as a form of restorative leisure, we are reminded of the nourishing nature of relaxation and well-being as a method of self-care.
Kinky in the Digital Age is a must-read for any digitally-oriented kinkster, or those looking to use modern technology to help foster connection in their journey through kink, and reminds us that playful curiosity and authentic expression are vital companions in any kinky play. And that’s something we can all wag our tails about.
Guest Posted and Written by Larissa Farrell (she/her), Education Coordinator at CPS and Owner/Digital Content Creator at LCF Writing Services.
Graphics and light edits by Social Media Coordinator Victoria Reuveni (she/her).
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Be sure to register for our monthly series this Saturday Jan 21 at 10am PT / 6pm UK time for a discussion with Liam Wignall! Registrants will receive a limited time replay link